I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
