i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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