We're like a lot better than the average bears
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I currently don't understand fingers.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
