How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Randomize
