It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
