We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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