You surviving the open bar?
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either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
They took my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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