Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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