I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
