so explain again why im purple
no
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
