remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Say something about gay babies.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
this hospital has no fireball
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
