She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
