Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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