Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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