I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
