video games are the ultimate cock blocker
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
