white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
