bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
