I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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