Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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