so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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