I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
