God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
