Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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