so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
