is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
