hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
