Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
