Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
smell my finger.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
