ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
