I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
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Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
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If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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