I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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