shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
