I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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