I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
