I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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