No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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