ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
two words: eviction party
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
The uberlube is also flammable
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
