I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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