I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
