ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Randomize