I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
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When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
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I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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