Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
