I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
