Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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