well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
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You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
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Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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