Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
