There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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