like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
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