Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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