You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
