Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
