i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
