As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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