Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
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No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FOUND THE LEGS
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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