p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
worst night to have a conscience
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
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