So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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