THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Randomize
