For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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